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mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:#006EFE;mso-font-kerning:0pt">群“重温经典读书会”49231471辅导我们学习《论语》。贾陆英老师一直记挂着我们这群“大学生”，原本这节课是安排在周三下午的，但贾老师届时另有要事，所以今日上午便特地在群里发出预告，提前到今日下午开课。有此良师，夫复何求？闲话少叙，立即把上课实录整理奉上。5 Q% n7 n+ U$ r
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; @* w1 W& b& E" p* L* P3 s9 Rmso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">今天下午，我们学习讨论《论语》为政篇第$ [0 Q }, F2 z5 e
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3 s h3 g. T5 y" E+ zmso-font-kerning:0pt">孟懿子问孝，子曰：6 Q' E* _) U) ^0 p5 p3 Z+ Q" N) wmso-font-kerning:0pt">“$ N7 [' P6 Z9 R5 S) c2 s, l
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! f8 E# n+ ?1 \# k2 a8 E, Omso-font-kerning:0pt">樊迟御，子告之曰：9 c! x! T5 Q# v, I# L& s
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mso-font-kerning:0pt">孟孙问孝于我，我对曰无违。- O1 ~7 x/ a9 pcolor:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">”! ?' E* n6 g0 h& `( X; B
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mso-font-kerning:0pt">何谓也？8 S* m. x/ f% R' h5 m2 X# smso-font-kerning:0pt">”+ ?% T! G4 K, [5 C5 F5 G: a
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mso-font-kerning:0pt">生，事之以礼；死，葬之以礼，祭之以礼。6 d; E+ `( K% o2 L1 s; s4 Xcolor:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">”
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* w9 L! E. d2 {: x$ imso-font-kerning:0pt">孟懿子：鲁国大夫，三家之一，姓仲孙，名何忌，懿是谥号。他的父亲孟僖子临死时要他向孔子学礼。无违：不要违背礼。樊迟：孔子的学生，名须，字子迟，比孔子小四十六岁。御：驾驶马车。孟孙：指孟懿子。. y$ e+ k/ b* _0 K/ R; k9 Mmso-font-kerning:0pt">
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% k0 }# O# D, y- y) u lmso-font-kerning:0pt">孟懿子请教孔子什么是孝，孔子说：7 B6 l7 r; t1 r# a, @5 w' C
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8 a1 ^+ G: v" ^* I) L2 \) ymso-font-kerning:0pt">孝就是不要违背礼。: C0 }) _+ m" Z, b. s4 G10.5pt;font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">”. G9 X. B n! ^
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% ~. [3 z. A. K3 f8 r) F& ^mso-font-kerning:0pt">一天，樊迟给孔子驾车，孔子告诉他说：4 B4 L+ x# K0 r! _+ T( I0pt">"# x5 [% C6 S) T$ C( m; k2 r) kmso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma;mso-bidi-font-family:
! Y/ a0 C) m3 ?" o1 GTahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">孟孙问我什么是孝，我回答他说不要违背礼。+ @, ~+ ?& b7 ^mso-font-kerning:0pt">"1 w; x8 d4 w7 |: t
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mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">这是什么意思呢: T3 G. P$ ]1 |4 Y- xmso-font-kerning:0pt">?" " B# y- g' u: `: W
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. K( d& Q, O p# `! W' G* ^2 Gmso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">孔子说：4 \- P1 z4 F) B0 ?- Y9 ~mso-font-kerning:0pt">"3 h& L* i- r2 B7 g" _; {7 gfont-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma;
4 s3 s* P/ H4 ] r" }2 cmso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">父母活着的时候，要按礼侍奉他们；父母死了，要按礼来埋葬他们，祭祀他们。4 U3 y' ^2 M% k m6 amso-font-kerning:0pt">"
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( k' @ _* w' Q$ Rmso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">问：怎样理解孝就是 B k9 z- `4 j0 Z2 F
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2 O# _, O3 b8 f! a) Tmso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">无违( u! S- I# Z+ N/ y; K- q9 `10.5pt;font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">”, B# t! j9 b6 r% z" A8 kfont-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma;
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mso-font-kerning:0pt">答：孔子教人是很讲针对性的。孟懿子不能遵从他父亲贤而好礼之教，所以孔子针对他讲得/ M8 t% F: q3 nmso-font-kerning:0pt">“% z; c7 U; J" q+ T
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" \; {4 u4 h* o; U+ I5 Mmso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">无违8 F8 q7 }9 v" u- h* g' l
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4 t! V0 e) N1 [. Kmso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">，就是不要违背父亲的教诲，这是就具体情况所做的回答。但是就普遍事理而言，孔子讲1 K6 w( A( I* U; b0 |. ^
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& v6 i/ ~! f0 S# u& emso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">，强调要以礼事亲，不可违背于礼，- v3 v3 V: }/ N/ G9 D+ H
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6 @- v- u6 z2 W- f3 P& F' X5 wmso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">生，事之以礼。死，葬之以礼，祭之以礼。% h0 z+ v, s3 j
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/ i" M' c8 j' d- a9 |% v* z9 jmso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">父母在世，如有不合乎礼的言行，子女是不应当顺从的，而要以合乎礼的方法劝谏，这是对父母真正的爱护、尊敬。孝的精神，还应当体现在父母去世以后，要按照礼制去安葬他们、祭祀他们，这才算子女尽孝有始有终。/ p5 o8 Q" Y! Z g9 l! n. x' ]( }* Bmso-font-kerning:0pt">
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mso-font-kerning:0pt">答：本章谈孝的重点是，孝要落实到礼上。孔子讲仁与礼的关系，一方面强调仁是礼的核心，礼应当体现仁的精神；另一方面又强调，礼的规定体现了仁的要求，依礼而行就是仁。据此，是否做到了孝，要以是否依礼而行来衡量。# {0 R! J& V/ i, |4 X8 D
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8 J z8 |( G5 U1 q: D* m5 Q* i9 {Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">孝最重要的是心敬，心敬外化出来的表现是礼遇！反过来说，虽然礼遇有加未必出于心敬，但若是不加礼遇那就一定是心不敬，也就是不孝啦。所以外在的礼对于孝来说很重要，如若无礼那必然是不孝！对父母尽孝道，是义6 A% X) R5 _6 J1 c# |) @! K7 P
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$ U& L6 H0 A. q" CTahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">孝最重要的是心敬，心敬外化出来的表现是礼遇！, p3 e9 g: P) a, E9 }4 X3 ~4 ^5 h
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mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">赞同。孝的本质，是发自内心的对父母的恭敬和感恩之情。有此心，才会有孝行。2 u* r3 t3 _3 J# G. ^5 x
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Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">贾老，昨天晚生正好读到战国时期儒家关于礼、丧、祭的论述5 [) j0 O* F+ W# \9 S2 t: [% g4 z
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mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">对父母的孝道，是义。如何尽孝，是礼。如何行礼，就是生而不违，去世行丧礼，祭祀行祭礼。对父母的孝，绝对不能行功利主义，现在社会上很多人在父母有能力的时候，和颜悦色，等到父母年迈无力，不能给自己帮上什么了，就放弃赡养父母，这是一种巧言令色，有所图谋。这三点做到都是不简单的，先说不违，能够做到遵循父母的教导，按照父母意愿行事之人有几？晚生做不到，起码现在说，不孝有三无后为大，父母成天逼婚，依旧违背了。老吾老以及人之老啊* t+ @! O/ K! N7 v( w
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2 ~* I ~! A" `: @Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">孝，如今还在于与父母交心、沟通，体谅父母的难处，分担父母的责任。现在社会中，生前不依礼事亲，死后大操大办的现象很普遍，成为了陋习，也造成了很大的负担。. U& W5 X* _2 G& Z5 d
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孝经
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Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">孝，如今还在于与父母交心、沟通，体谅父母的难处，分担父母的责任。: g6 ]' F5 u# l4 z2 mmso-font-kerning:0pt">——' g, w: n7 m; P5 W5 h2 G
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mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">对，这是从情感上关心父母，是尽孝的重要内容。生，事之以礼。死，葬之以礼，祭之以礼。, e3 k# \; L) q; X9 u* omso-font-kerning:0pt">——8 m$ n: Z4 j* \4 i
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# j F6 w+ ^" N1 I9 E( ]* k& v/ e0 ]mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">对父母的孝道，是义。如何尽孝，是礼。如何行礼，就是生而不违，去世行丧礼，祭祀行祭礼。《孝经》说：6 f0 Y" O6 t9 J9 i! v5 D- V
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) V+ a, k* ~8 C1 p+ l% K3 Lmso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">礼者，敬而已矣。故敬其父，则子悦；敬其兄，则弟悦；敬其君，则臣悦；敬一人，而千万人悦。所敬者寡，而悦者众，此之谓要道也。 N# O5 o( l2 d( ]1 hmso-font-kerning:0pt">”) t2 u8 b, Y/ }font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma;5 @' g4 S" _+ Y }6 B
mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">礼的内在依据是孝悌，而外在表现，就是一个7 }- k6 t6 A! y$ q5 O7 _mso-font-kerning:0pt">“* q k, L; |$ s, E8 v3 `2 Hfont-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma;9 A: Y% w' }0 F' Q: S$ f& a: T
mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">敬+ {$ Y- t1 i* _ O9 o2 pmso-font-kerning:0pt">”( o5 g3 n. v7 V/ [/ c# w
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; i4 \8 x* g4 d6 v Cmso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">字。所以，如能尊敬他的父亲，那么其儿子就会喜悦；如能尊敬他的兄长，那么其弟弟就会喜悦；如能尊敬他的国君，那么其臣下就会喜悦。尊敬的是一个人，却能使千万人喜悦。所敬者虽然只是少数，而喜悦的人却有千千万万，这就是为什么把推行孝悌之道和礼乐教化称为1 L6 a7 ]/ l' u
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mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">要道. T. e7 q" l$ {- W8 I! O0 Z
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! _# G5 O. ?( F# w) M* ~6 V1 Z! Zmso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">的意义所在啊。6 A/ R. k1 H7 H& Q7 E. ]mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">嗯，这就是不孝有三的第一种。事谓阿意曲从，陷亲不义，一不孝也。我们通常将的孝顺的7 J- U+ O, e3 ]$ U0 l \7 v8 Amso-font-kerning:0pt">“$ y# o8 |7 w) C* Q- {# p h! d
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mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">顺/ f2 }: G4 b# c$ X3 \mso-font-kerning:0pt">”: x3 F( a/ h+ e
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mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">其实就是不违的意思! {) G5 L( y6 P9 O4 c; |mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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